Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
