Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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