if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize