He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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