you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
