when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
