Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do vagina's smell?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize