grandma shit on top of the toilet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
