your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
