told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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