It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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