Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
