Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
