Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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