she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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