i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
