why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize