somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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