oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I understand Curling. That high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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