At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
