I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
