Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
