Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
