checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
