College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
