so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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