I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
