I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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