It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
