"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
