She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
