I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
