how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And then my night got REAL pukey
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
