I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
