Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize