"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
