when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
