What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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