do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
