Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
