She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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