i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
