So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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