Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize