high people should be assigned attendants
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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