he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
