its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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