im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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