Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
