Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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