I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
