No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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