how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You're like the curious george of whores
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
